Say “Oooh!”

X: *a pseudophilosophical pose* Come, you ignorant one. Let me take you back to your roots.

Y: *confused* Huh?

X: *reassuringly* Oooh!

Y: *confused still* Oooh?

X: *confidently* Oooh oooh!

Y: *slightly irked* Oooh oooh?

X: *calmly* Oooh oooh oooh!

Y: *at the end of tether* Oooh oooh oooh? I feel like a monkey.

X: *in a saintly tone* Welcome to your roots and the roots of all of humanity!

List

… of things I should quit trying totally:

• blogging.
• cooking.
• staying quiet.
• hoping that someday Vodafone will make my day.
• changing backgrounds on Twitter.
• stifling a laugh.
• acting all grown-up.
• giving advise to heartbroken people.
• and again, blogging. Quit trying, already!

The things I want to hate, but end up loving instead.

I love the concept of sinister days that purpleflames has talked of on her blog.

I have been having too many of them these days, after all.

P.S. My secret blog with Vasudha almost went public today. Now that would be outright suicidal.

An Excerpt…

…In which two single-since-the-stone-age girls talk about boys or actually the lack of them! Sigh!
(Note: We do not intend to hurt anyone’s feelings, least of all, the feelings of good, single boys.)

X: kucchh dating shating kar rahi ho ya nahi?

Y: nahi yaar. mere type ke pagal kam hain
ek pe crush hai.

X: mere college mein toh competition hai sadu ladkon ka,
arri mar gai ka ee chhokri?

Y: haan yaad hai mujhe
poori tareki se maree gayee

X: aww!

Y: jee.

X: single single?

Y: only crush bas aur kuch nahi,
single nahi hai woh.

X: oh,
yeh toh puri duniya ka problem hai.

Y: wohi toh.

X: taken/gay/dead/fictitious.

Y: where are the good and single Bengalis?
exactly.
yeh duniya humein bhooka hi rakhegi, saheli.

X: bhooka? yes, bhooka!
heehee

Y: haan jee!

**********

Because words are the deadliest weapons. Ever.

(A lesson in what not to say aloud when in the queue inside the girls’ washroom at college.)

X: Damn! It is such a long queue!
Y: Indeed it is! You know what I have not pee-ed for almost a week now.

A random girl chokes on the chewing gum.

Y: (with a tone of clarification): Umm, I meant I have not pee-ed in this loo for a week.

The queue may clear up, leaving you direct access to the loo; nevertheless, you can never ever face the random girl, who choked on her chewing gum, again.

Look Who Is (not) Here!

I am back and I will update my blog regularly.

I swear I will.

P.S: I suck at blogging.